Temptations confront us daily. The mental and emotional passageways of our heart flood with ideas and possibilities we would rather have kept dammed. In the worst cases, the torrent overflows into the physical realm as we act on our temptations. In these moments, our actions actually seem reasonable to us, largely because temptation beckons us to blind ourselves from wisdom, self-control, and often reality.
We enter into the tunnel of our vision, our mind blind to the world outside of that which has our attention. Reality and relational cost are lost outside of it. “It”, whatever or whoever it is, promises gratification, likely in some form of comfort, control, or power.
This is temptation.
It could be lust, greed, deceit, or envy, but it could also come in less popular forms: manipulation, control, overpowering others, shying away from responsibility, criticism, or the urge to experience false intimacy. There is no end to the ways we are tempted to live less than God made us to be, relying on our own power to manage our life and maneuvering relationships to meet our needs.
As we grow in awareness of our own methods to avoid shame, pain, and loneliness, we must also find ways to engage our mind and heart in the midst of temptation. We doom ourselves to repeat history until we know the story beneath the surface. To care for our heart, we must engage our heart. What follows is part one of four ways to pursue your mind and heart when temptation floods your being and you want to do what you do not want to do.
1) What am I feeling?
In the midst of temptation, how often do we really stop to take inventory of what is happening in our heart and mind? Likely, not much.
We want what we want, and our demand morphs into a greed that accelerates us into action. The emotional and spiritual realms of our mind and heart take a back seat to the physical. We simply act or react in the name of pleasure that eventually leads to pain and disappointment.
When we ignore the emotional and spiritual parts of us, we live an unexamined life. Most of what tempts us originates from our unconscious- not that we are necessarily unaware of the temptation itself- we do what we do not want to do; but, it is our unprocessed emotions, desires, fantasies, and needs within us that drive us to see the forbidden as bright red, juicy, and fulfilling.
The hope is to slow the process down. If we can hit pause on our insistence to demand immediate pleasure, we have a chance.
When temptation comes knocking, slow your reaction down by engaging your mind and heart: What am I feeling?
Practically speaking, you may need to alter your physical state before fully engaging this question. Switch rooms. Take a walk or go for a run. Pull out a journal. Ask whomever you may be fighting with for a timeout. Once you have changed your proximity from that which tempts you, you will create the emotional space to actually engage your self. Then ask again,
What am I feeling?
Name specific feelings. Then wonder about feelings beneath the feelings. There’s a story or two there, I promise. To my knowledge, we humans are the only creatures who tell stories, and the stories behind our motivations are often locked away in unconscious, unprocessed, and un-accessed feelings.
What am I feeling? is the first step toward caring well for your heart and unlocking and exposing your intentions.
Next week: Canoe Down a River (Part 2)
